26.6.11

it starts

i hate it if i am excited about my professional life and sad about my personal life at the same time. it results in a feeling of utter loneliness that your beloved co-workers have no way of solving. and that you have no chance to avoid.

So, feeling completely alone and very excited about the coming week, it starts.

21.6.11

Expensive cafe and fat rain

Minu meelest on veider, kui kohviku vetsus mängib muusika. Kas ma pean seal muusikasse toimetama või?
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There was italian music playing in the toilet. Too weird.

It was another rain week in Estonia like every year when the Midsummer's Eve drew nearer. People have been celebrating the endless day of the year in heavy rain for years now - the fires are still big and burning, but they need a little more petrol to start.

I find myself in anticipation of the coming week - not every day in one's life one can create part of an open air concert with more than 400 dancers in one's own direction... and a total of 7000 dancers performing in the whole thing.

One can only be very proud and thankful of what she have been given.

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tantsumemm

14.6.11

Bent

Sometimes lives can be saved by 10PM breakfasts.

I woke up with a start and saw imminence in my coming day.
I did not eat. I did not rise. I did not stop.

10 hours later I found that shops would be closed if I didn't react fast.
I brought some soup and continued.
I thought of him only a little, which was weird.

2:20 AM I finished.

And noticed.
Paper that covered my floor as a new messy carpet.
Flour on the kitchen table and Mozarts? Requiem on the radio.
Parrot's whistle from the neighbors.

And that lately I am reminded of this lost girl all the time... not liking her pictures because of the cigarettes and tiredness that they reflect, not being able to say the right things or be the right person for her company at the moment... a relationship blown into invisibility. One of so many this year.

You are on my mind.
You are safe in my heart.

10.6.11

kadunud kuu

selline siis oligi minu mai,

suurte tegude ja miljoni intriigiga, ühe tädikssaamisega ja väikese rõõmuga, juuksuriskäigu ja suurte rahadega, hiirelõksude, rattasõitude ja ühe kirjutamata jäänud haikuga, mille autor poleks tegelikult mina.

mõtlesin tartule ja teistele väikestele linnadele ning kõik oli korraga võõras.

planeerin minekuid.