soreness

There are several workshops I need to prepare for in coming weeks, as well as the thesis presentation, as well as my daily job, and I feel too vague and hazy and lifeless for any of this, except for when interacting with people directly. It is all too familiar, the weight of the mornings, the boredom of the days, the never ending struggle to keep myself going for myself, not merely for others, which is so easy. These days I know I never grew up.
Familiar and strange at the same time - I have thought myself to be a generally positive person, only to notice all those times when I am not. I love people, at least some, I think, but I really need to learn to love me enough to not bore myself to apathy.

Somewhere I am missing some music.